Im In Miami Bitch....

Well, not really but I wish I was. Right now im sitting at home playing "Papi Jump Land" on my i-pod touch and listening to old Ministry of Sound CD's. Its fantastic! Aaaaaaanywaaaaaay...... As my friends would know, I must always have a fetish or I go all crazy and suicidal and start banging my head against brick walls and trying to run head first into traffic signs (don't ask, I was feeling weird....) I always have a constant fetish, which is NRL, but I also like to have one on the side to shake things up a bit, keep it fresh. Because at the end of the day, my fetishes always seem to burn me, and when i'm feeling sad I can always trust my beautiful husband that is Rugby League to cuddle up to me in bed and spoon feed me rum and raisin ice-cream.....

Thanks Hunny, Its just a really difficult time at the moment....

Usually my fetishes include tv shows or celebrity's. Or they could just be something cosmetic, like when I HAD to shave my legs everyday. That one was time consuming and a very big mistake in hindsight. My other fetishes include; but are not limited to: Viva La Bam, Singstar, Jackass, Hippy Clothing, The Sims, Twilight (don't judge me please, it was only whilst I was reading the books and im over it now...) James Mcmanus, Jarrod Mullen and Pharrell. Yes, it is a wide range of obsessions, from books about vampires to black rappers. Some say my style is "unique" while others say i've got schizophrenia. But I know you all really really want to know my latest obssession, right? Well take a guess, its got something to do with a city in Florida and tattoos........

IT'S MIAMI INK MOTHER FUCKER.

Yes, ol' wholesome little Mazza has a fetish for a show about 40 year old men (except for Kat Von D, lets just clarify that she is not a 40 year old man) tattooing people. Its fucking fantastic children! The show revolves around Ami (pronounced Arm-ee) James, and his four friends. He doesn't include Kat as his friend coz they had a big fight and they are all like "i'm so not talking to you, hoe bag" Ami's friends are Yoji Harada (the Japanese guy in the hat) Who is still an apprentice or as he likes to say in his strong Japanese accent "apprenticed" which means he can't actually tattoo properly (well, he can now, as the show ended in 2008 *sob*) Then theres Ami, who was born in Isreal and fought for the Isreali army as a sniper and now enjoys beating the shit out of people UFC style. Behind him in the white singlet is Chris Nuñez. His dad committed suicide (It's so sad,) and he could grafitti write when he was just ten years old, which led him into the world of tatts. Everyone calls him a ladies man, but i honestly don't see the appeal.... The short dude down in front is Darren Brass. He has an über cool dollar sign tattood on the inside of his hand, and hes a midget. Plus he wears glasses that are similar to mine! He's such a trendsetter, guys. The only female member of the team Kat Von D is definatly the coolest. Shes so cool she can say "rad" and "cool dude" without sounding like a wigger! Also she was born in Argentina and Spanish was her first language. She left Miami Ink in season 3 because of the fight, and made her own show called LA Ink, which in turn created a sausage fest back in Miami. Last but not least is Chris Garver. Garver's my favourite, because he looks kinda old yet he is hands down the coolest guy. He's really nice and patient and when Ami had a sore back Garver asked him if he wanted him to crack his back. Ami yelled "NO" and Garver sulked away. It was adorable in my opinion! Also he doesn't even whince when he gets tattoed. What a champion....

Now, you may ask me what the appeal of this show is. And i'll tell you why. Ever since I was little I've wanted tattoos. If I didn't want to be a lawyer, I would have SOOOOO many tatts. My current list includes: a Maori-tribal tattoo going from my foot up my ankle, "Such Is Life" (famous last words of Ned Kelly) under my left boob, Peoni's on my wrist, American-Indian headress on my lower back or pelvic bone, four love hearts going down my left index finger (to represent the four letters of my name) The crucifix on my hand or foot, two (or one, whichever I feel like) Sparrows on my side and finally a cluster of stars on my pelvic bone. (I have a looooong list!) But there are three main reasons why I can't or won't get all of those tattoos. 1 is that you can't have visible tattoos if your a Lawyer, it's just wrong. 2 is that it looks like they hurt a lot and I have a low pain threshold. And lastly I don't want to get judged. People with a lot of tattoos are labelled as gangsters or bikies or derros. And I hate being judged by people so i'll probably just settle for the Sparrows, or "Such Is Life" because at least they can be easily hidden.

My future tattoo people.....

So now you all know my latest fetish i'm going to go watch the season 3 DVD and eat something healthy :)

Love,

Mazza xx